I had the coolest experience standing next to people who were on tv yet simultaneously they were standing next to me. It was the big Dr. Phil
viewing party at the Reichs. I'm not a trained professional, but I can offer my analysis since all I do on my blog is recount the television shows I've watched.
- Seeing the tagline
Admits to being a slob
w/ a professional Dr. Phil
logo next to it was pretty damn funny. Hearing her say "No way" in that Reichian tone when Dr Phil said he was sending a the good people from Lowe's Home Improvement
(as opposed to the good people of the fake Lowe's
). Seeing Dave mouth the words "that's our house" while the Dr Phil people threw stuff out.
Dr Phil's suggestions
- Dr Phil didn't do too much other than make fun of Sally. Dave told me he made small talk w/ Dr Phil, so maybe he laid off. And those comments Dave made about cleaning the house being Sally's job, I'm told, were prompted. Plus, I've been to the house and have seen it clean on special occasions and sometimes on just ordinary occasions. I'm not going to get as mean as the message boards
, but Dr Phil didn't offer any real advice. I saw the calendar they slapped up on the wall and all it said was January. Sure there were some numbers on it, but that doesn't mean anything next year.
Dr Douchebag's suggestions
- First of all, cleaning a house is a never ending and thankless job. That calendar Dr Phil sent needs to be filled out w/ tasks to be completed on the specified day. Until you are doing something every single day to keep the house clean, it's still going to be messy. You can try to contain the messes to certain areas of the house you don't use as much or go on the cleaning bender every so often, but the every day method is the only way to keep things clean all the time. If I had a big fat Lowe's Home improvement account to fill their house w/ the cleaning spirit, I would have made a few different changes. I would have followed Sally's advice and gotten them a washer
. You also need a cordless vacuum
to get stuff in a hurry while keeping one hand free to grab a kid. Finally, Dave needs a lawnmower
to keep the outdoors from being tracked into the house. That would set you back about $1200 ($200 if you drop the washer and dryer). And you might be called an enabler by the message board community, but have Dave and Sal clean their own house w/ a professional cleaner who was willing to give away trade secrets for free advertising on the Dr Phil show. Dr Phil needs to pay for a cleaning crew to come every week if that's how he's going to clean up the mess in your house. .Pat Croce
wouldn't let you skirt your responsibilities like that. DIYD! Do It Yourself Douchebag! That's going to be the catch phrase for my self help show "Dr Douchebag." Now I need a reputable producer and I think the WB
can fit me in after the Gilmore Girls. Hopefully the contacts the Reichs made out there will get this thing off the ground.