diablo canyon 2

Evidence That I was in San Francisco

2009-06-24T20:50:00.002-04:00

Cell phones do not make good cameras, but I pack real light.

The 2nd craziest thing I saw on PBS this weekend

2009-04-13T18:19:00.002-04:00

You might think a bunch of flamingos dancing together was as good as it got on PBS this weekend. You would be wrong. I was watching the Lawrence Welk Easter special and these 2 women came out in bunny costumes and danced, pranced and sang "Here Comes Peter Cottontail" in front a background that could only be described as early 70's psychedelic. It took Maria an hour to talk me out from under the bed. I couldn't find the video on youtube, so I'm still not sure if the whole thing was a flashback or not.

Hoops

2009-03-18T20:37:00.002-04:00

I have tickets for the Greensboro games in the NCAA tournament. As much as I'd like to watch 4 games in 1 day, I couldn't find anyone to go to the Thursday night games. I figured I could unload the tickets on some Duke fan I know, but it turns out I don't know any Duke fans. I'm not sure what that says about me. However, I do know a guy from Minnesota who asked me about extra tickets. Not only did I sell my tickets, but I sold them to someone who doesn't like Duke (although he probably won't stick around for that game). StubHub need to offer some kind of option to sell your seats but not your allegiance.

Super Bowl Predictions

2009-01-21T17:40:00.002-05:00

Ok, there's a big difference b/w what I would like to see and what will actually happen. I think it will look like this: Born In The USA, a new song (I'll guess The Wrestler b/c it's new, I haven't heard it, and it would nice of him to remind me to go see the movie), Promised Land (w/ a speech like Bill Simmons crafted before the song except it will be about Obama), and my lead pipe lock of the week, Born To Run. What I'd like to see is Rosalita for 25 minutes.

Merry Xmas

2008-12-13T15:49:00.001-05:00

I thought this version of White Christmas was worth sharing. I heard it driving around at night which makes all music better.

I watch PBS so you don't have to

2008-11-02T09:07:00.002-05:00

Imagine my surprise to learn that Judy Woodruff is a big fan of Saturday Night Live. That's what she said (heh, heh) in Lorne Michaels and Seth Myers appearance on the News Hour last week. However, the fact that these two were guests on the News Hour only 5 days before the election would qualify as a bigger surprise. They didn't cite any polling numbers or provide any insight into field operations in battleground states, but if you think PBS is about dry, tempered, reasonable analysis you would only be right 99% of the time.

Early Voting

2008-10-21T21:03:00.005-04:00

Today at lunch time I went to vote early except the line was at least an hour long. I walked in behind a guy who I followed down the hall, to the right, into the gym, and back around to the front door (the line in the gym was as long as the line through the hallways). This guy told me he had been on Sunday, Monday, and now Tuesday at the same polling site and the line was at least that long everyday. I'll try again next week, but voting on election day seems like it might be pretty reasonable. I'll keep you posted.

Hello Generous Peoples

2008-10-06T19:43:00.002-04:00

I'll be walking again in the Crop Walk this year if you would like to make a tax deductible gift to help fight hunger. The walk is October 19th and they'll be collecting money until the end of the month. Please consider making a contribution. Half of the money will go to Greensboro Urban Ministry and the other half goes to Church World Service. You probably have a good idea of what Greensboro Urban Ministry does (meals, shelter, food pantry, clothing, cars, etc.), but the minister at our church worked for Church World Service in Ghana for 10ish years and I've heard quite a few stories about the struggles people face there. Do you know what the biggest obstacle in everyday life for people in rural Africa? It's getting enough clean water to live. Your faucet is probably running while you read this, so go turn it off and consider making a pledge to help people both near and far.

If you want something tangible for your money, Desmond is selling popcorn for the Cub Scouts. You can order it online here (order key TEAXMR). However, he does not get credit for online sales (his cub scout pack will and that's who gets the money they raise). We will have the popcorn the week before Thanksgiving, so if you want him to sell enough to get a pocket knife (and really what 7 year old doesn't need a decent pocket knife to replace that rusty pair of scissors Daddy left laying around) you can contact me and I'll put your order down and get it to you around Thanksgiving.

Economic Crisis Story

2008-09-28T14:34:00.002-04:00

I'm sure politicians will be featuring my family in an upcoming commercial after hearing this horror story. We enrolled our daughter in a program at the Greensboro Music Academy where she will be fitted w/ a rental violin, have individual lessons once a week, and group lessons once a week and they're only paying us a $100 to do this. I thought about holding out for maybe $500 or demanding to keep the violin, but w/ the troubled times we live in our family will just have to suck it up and and take our $100 and free violin lessons and somehow make ends meet.

Can You Ever Forgive Me?

2008-09-26T20:04:00.002-04:00

I had to read this book after reading the amazon review from a guy she ripped off. Luckily, the library has a copy and I didn't have to steal it. I want to feel morally superior to somebody.

I'm going to stop listing the books I read on here b/c it has become too stifling. I read this book like a month ago and didn't comment on my fantasy football teams (one kick ass team, one team in a league of 6 teams so I have no idea what to do w/ all those points, and one team where I'm turning to JT O'Sullivan to hopefully beat the last place team), the NHL playing closer to the North Pole than my house (and me watching it), and Steve Politi making YouTube videos that elicit outstanding responses ("Shove those tomotoes straight up your New Jersey turnpike!!") b/c I hadn't said anything about a book. I hope you haven't missed out on these exciting things just b/c I'm lazy. I hope you've missed out on them b/c you are lazy too.

Political Stuff

2008-08-30T09:43:00.002-04:00

I love Fox News. You may think less of me, but it is the most entertaining news channel around. If you are going there for actual news, then you're probably lacking a decent perspective on politics. If you go there for the irony, they will never fail in rewarding you. I was at home yesterday and figured I'd watch the news channels to see what they were saying about Obama's acceptance speech. When I switched on Fox News at 7:30am, they were broadcasting from the site of the Republican National Convention. Now the start of the actual convention was still 3 whole days away, but who doesn't want to see where Britt Hume and the gang will be sitting next week. And w/ the intimacy of television you don't get to see that "the big tent" Fox News embraces in its broadcasting is actually a big tent. It's not really a metaphor. It's really a big tent. I was a little distraught that their over the top coverage of the Democratic Convention couldn't be matched by any other network for the Republican Convention, but then I realized they can be just as over the top for the Republican Convention. Why would I continue to watch PBS w/ their never ending speeches from the convention floor when Fox News will tell me exactly what the words I just heard really mean.

It's not just watching Fox News that has me worried about Obama's chances in the upcoming election. To win he's depending on a huge turnout from young people. I'm not saying it can't happen, but people under 35 voted at a less than 50% clip in the last presidential election. I don't know what that number needs to be and he'll certainly raise that, but how high can the youth vote really get? Wait, don't answer that question.

Finally, I'm voting for Mike Munger for NC governor this fall. Most of his talking points are things that I really support (and, yes, I noticed that the issue w/ the most ink is also the issue that I'm not 100% behind him). But really it's NC's laws about how a political party gets preferred status on the election ballot that have me voting Libertarian.

The Best Game Ever

2008-08-17T18:39:00.002-04:00

I can't give this book a glowing review. I love football and I've liked a lot of Mark Bowden's books, but this isn't even his best book about pro football (that would be Bringing The Heat). Even some of his footnotes cite the finest book I've ever read on pro football (America's Game) which made me want to put this book down and start reading America's Game again. It did pick up w/ the details of the Colts game tying drive at the end of the 4th quarter, but that's 3/4 of the way through the book. I would have enjoyed a more detailed breakdown of the game (there's some of that) and less exposition on the men involved in the game. Raymond Berry's practice habits were interesting, but Art Donovan's life as a liquor salesman was less so (I know I can't believe I said that either).

Sirius Mystery

2008-08-05T18:43:00.002-04:00

While Sirius radio broadcasts every NFL game, they don't do any home broadcasts for the Tennessee Titans. I can't seem to find any information why this is. If I had to take a guess, I would say that Frank Wycheck's presence on the broadcast team is too much for the Buffalo Bills fans that obviously work there.

Album Years

2008-07-31T21:29:00.002-04:00

I feel obligated to list the Albums of the Year like peb and otto, so I looked at Wikipedia to get started. Unfortunately, I was overwhelmed looking at the A albums of 1999. I decided I would just list the years I've been alive and give a little commentary.

1972 - born
1973 - don't really remember
1974 - moved from NY to NC
1975 - moved from NC to PA
1976 - the bicentennial. I remember crying b/c my mom said I wouldn't be alive for the tricentennial. I thought the tricentennial was in 1977.
1977 - Yankees win the World Series
1978 - Yankees win the World Series
1979 - Pirates win the World Series
1980 - Phillies win the World Series
1981 - confusion b/c the Mets didn't win the World Series and they were the 4th team that broadcast games to our house. Lesson learned, Mets suck.
1982 - move from PA to NJ
1983 - amazed that other kids can live w/in 9 miles of our house. have a great time.
1984 - Van Halen releases 1984 album. Video for Hot for Teacher plays at video jukebox in Ocean County mall for the rest of the year.
1985 - Hot for Teacher video on jukebox continues.
1986 - start to become jaded
1987 - become convinced that I haven't reached puberty b/c I don't have hair on my back like the Italian kids in the high school locker room.
1988 - look for books on a 2nd stage of puberty where you grow hair on your back
1989 - move from NJ to NC
1990 - finish high school. start counting money I will make statistically.
1991 - allegedly in Chapel Hill. charges never proven
1992 - don't remember
1993 - Tar Heels win national championship while I'm in school. girlfriend doesn't want to go to watch game w/ friends on franklin st (too crowded). break up w/ girlfriend.
1994 - graduate college. promptly put education to use in workforce delivering pizzas.
1995 - watch a lot of the Mary Tyler Moore show. decide I can make it on my own. move to TX. decide I need my family a lot more than I can ever admit. move back to NC.
1996 - start school to become a businessman.
1997 - meet 1st wife.
1998 - become businessman. start working for the man.
1999 - start working for new the man.
2000 - survive Y2k. start eating stockpiled cans of tuna fish and pinto beans.
2001 - have 1st kid.
2002 - somehow keep a kid alive for a whole year.
2003 - finish tuna fish and pinto beans from millennium crisis.
2004 - 2nd kid born.
2005 - somehow keep 2 kids alive for a whole year. pat self on back.
2006 - realize mom was right, I'm not going to see the tricentennial.
2007 - worst year ever.
2008 - make sarcastic lists.

Founding Faith and Knockemstiff

2008-07-22T19:53:00.002-04:00

I finished these two books around the same time, so I'll list them together. Founding Faith informs us that people who claim our founding fathers were deists and people who claim our nation was founded as a Christian nation are both wrong. Rational people live in the creamy middle and the founders were rational people. Taking our country to extreme positions on either side is fine, but don't say you have the blessing of James Madison to do so. I have some simple descriptions that will let you know exactly what Knockemstiff is about. If this means anything to you, Titus would recommend this book to you. If that doesn't mean anything to you, it's a collection of fucked up stories about fucked up people doing fucked up things. The blurb on the jacket that says "I had to take a walk after each story to collect my thoughts" is spot on. It's fiction but it seems very, very real.

When You Are Engulfed In Flames

2008-07-04T15:22:00.002-04:00

Things are really looking up on the book front. Now not only is my librarian wife bringing books home for me, but her friends are loaning her books that I'm reading too. David Sedaris' new book is, of course, hilarious. However, I'm not sure if I find it reassuring or unnerving that I share some of the same foibles as Mr. Sedaris. On the one hand, it's nice to know that someone else prepares talking points so they don't have to sit in silence w/ other people. Still, I probably shouldn't have confessed that. Oh well. Next time we talk I'll tell you about his theory on what kind of people smoke certain brands of cigarettes.

NBA Draft Recap

2008-06-27T21:19:00.003-04:00

The 2008 NBA Draft will go down in history as one of my greatest moments ever b/c this father and son exchange took place.

Son: Dad?

Father: Yeah, what?

Son: Who's going to draft Quentin Thomas?

Father: Well, I assume that's why the Bobcats traded for the 20th pick. They need all the Tar Heels they can get. No, he probably won't get drafted. The NBA only drafts 60 players, so they only pick the best players from college basketball. Quentin's probably not one of the best 60 players they can choose from.

Son: Oh.

Son: Hey Dad?

Father: Yeah, what?

Son: Who's going to draft Surry Wood?

Best Sports Writing of Pat Jordan

2008-06-25T18:41:00.001-04:00

I read an interview w/ Pat Jordan on Deadspin and was sufficiently intrigued to get his most recent book at the library. The articles span a 35 year period and topics as diverse as hall of fame pitchers, professional poker players, professional pool players, child beauty queens, and post-trial OJ. Since it's an anthology I immediately read the Steve Carlton article b/c he didn't talk to the media for most of his playing career. He comes off not only as delusional about his pitching (thinking he can still pitch in 1994 when he couldn't pitch in the last few years of his career in the 80s) but also about government conspiracies against him. I was hooked at this point. This isn't your typical sports reporting. When Peter Gammons writes an article about the real life Natural, Pat Jordan comes along a few years later and interviews Toe Nash in jail. Then he interviews the girl who accused him of the rape. He also interviews a woman who gives a less than flattering portrayal of Nash and his sexual transgressions. The only movie this guy fits into is a Lifetime movie of the week. Bloggers haven't suddenly exposed this underbelly of the sports world. Pat Jordan has chronicled it for years.

SAL All Star Game

2008-06-21T09:30:00.002-04:00

I took the kids to the SAL All Star Game the other night. We sat in the 2nd row next to the dugout. Of course after the 2nd inning we were off to the playground never to return to our seats. I could have got Desmond to stay there longer, but Izzy was finished w/ her sno-cone so it was time for her to go play. I'm not sure how many future MLB stars were in the game, but if I had to guess I'd say the Braves are in pretty good shape. The highlight for me was honorary coach Andre Dawson standing at the top of the dugout steps about 8 feet away from me. I think I watched him watch the game as much as I watched the actual game. Even though I know his knees are wrecked, he still looks like he's in playing shape and seemed to get around w/o any trouble. I'm sure he's just happy that there isn't artificial turf at the stadium.

Redemption Song

2008-06-10T19:47:00.008-04:00

Yet another book left laying around by the librarian, it's billed as the definitive biography of Joe Strummer. However, in the book there is a line attributed to Joe Strummer (I think, I don't take notes on these things) where he's discussing reading multiple biographies of the same person and getting a different impression of the person in each one. For the "definitive" biography, that's probably not your money quote. I read Last Gang In Town a few years ago and that was certainly more Clash-centric than this, so I don't know how much new information there is about his life in the Clash. There are plenty of stories about that period and quite a few from the rest of his life that make it worth a read. My favorite was while shooting Mystery Train, Joe and Jim Jarmusch go to see INXS after their gig in Memphis. Joe makes a comment to Michael Hutchence about how it must be nice to be a sex symbol. He replies that Joe Strummer was certainly a sex symbol in the halcyon punk rock days. Joe's response "No, I wasn't a sex symbol. I was the spokesman for a generation." You still are Joe.

2 good ideas?

2008-06-09T19:27:00.004-04:00

I was discussing my NASCAR oriented ideas w/ one of my 2 NASCAR hating brothers and he thought both of these were good ideas so I'll throw them out there. First, when youngish looking Kasey Kahne wins in the Budweiser Dodge and has to swig from a can of Bud in victory lane, they should card him before handing him the Bud. I think it would be kind of funny, and they could actually act like they are interested in stopping (or at least not promoting) underage drinking. Second, Barack Obama '08 should sponsor the #28 Robert Yates Racing Ford driven by Travis Kvapil. This is a car that will be on the track every week (I won't explain the NASCAR rules but trust me on this) and doesn't have a full time sponsor. It seems like a win/win b/c the Obama people will get exposure to an audience that doesn't necessarily follow him and the Yates people get the same kind of exposure. I know you're thinking NASCAR wouldn't allow it or the Republican car owners wouldn't want it, but in 2004 Democrat Bob Graham sponsored a truck for Roush Racing and Roush Racing is involved in a partnership w/ Yates racing. No unsponsored team would turn down a legitimate sponsorship when their teams cost tens of millions of dollars to operate. And more importantly, money talks bullshit walks. The Obama campaign could shell out $12 million for 6 months of sponsorship and not lose any sleep over it. Now if we can get the lame Obama '08 logo off the car and get the Shepherd Fairey pictures there, I would be buying diecast collectibles left and right.

The New Kings of Nonfiction

2008-05-28T18:50:00.003-04:00

One of the best things about being married to a librarian is finding random books around the house. This also means there are stacks of books everywhere and no room for them on our bookshelves. However, when a book by Ira Glass appears next to your car keys you shouldn't consider it clutter. Even if on further examination it turns out the book is an introduction by Ira Glass and a group of essays that he seemingly approves of. That's still a good book. Reading Dan Savage's Republican crusade first (although I was a little disappointed to not find the story about him licking doorknobs in Iowa) makes for an awesome start to any collection. It also featured some writers whom I've read a lot (Mark Bowden and Chuck Klosterman) and some I know I'm supposed to read more of (Malcolm Gladwell and Michael Lewis). If your only criteria for inclusion is nonfiction, then you get a lot of variety that makes this pretty entertaining for everyone. Check it out.

Maui Gold

2008-05-23T09:13:00.002-04:00

This lady at work was talking about these pineapples she had in Hawaii called Maui Gold. I thought this was some kind of code word for good weed, or coke, or something illicit. It turns out it is really just a type of pineapple. That doesn't mean it shouldn't be used to describe the absolute best of something. I'll start by nominating this Sunday as the Maui Gold of auto racing. Formula One in the morning + Indy 500 in the afternoon + Coca Cola 600 in the evening = Maui Gold. I'm salivating thinking about that "pineapple" already.

Motherless Brooklyn

2008-05-13T20:44:00.002-04:00

As you may have gathered, I don't read a lot of fiction (to loosely quote Dom Irrera I appreciate it when some comedian prefaces a joke w/ "true story" b/c God forbid you make up something funny to tell an audience). However, when the guy from Deadspin eschews dick jokes to recommend a book I put it on the reading list (if the library has it). Maria brought me this book from the library and she commented that the author, Jonathan Lethem, wrote a book that she wants to read. Having read one of his books, I'm ready to read anything of his put in front of me. I do like crime fiction and those novels by Jim Thompson always leave me wanting to write something of my own (besides grocery lists although I plan to incorporate those into some larger work). This falls into the same category. He may not write in this genre all the time, but there was enough in this book to know that he can make up a story that keeps the reader interested no matter what the subject is. The main story is a guy w/ Tourette's trying to solve a murder. Random "EATME"s aside, it doesn't get in the way of relating everyday activities of a detective to the "diagnosed" compulsions of a freak show. After reading this it seems like people w/ Tourette's should all just become private detectives and we'd wipe out an epidemic (private dicks w/o an explanation for their behavior). That's how convincing this book was. True crime, sometimes scary. Made up crime, entertaining in this instance.

Time Machine

2008-05-13T19:01:00.003-04:00

I'm pretty sure it's still 2008, but I've had several experiences recently that sent me back in time. First, I went w/ my younger brother to Toms River, NJ for the first time in 19 years. I guess it's changed, but I couldn't tell you how. However, I've changed enough to not resent the entire town. That's progress! We also went to Atlantic City for the first time since I was old enough to gamble. Here are some excerpts from exciting A-City conversation.

Kevin: (while we are eating at Hooters) Dude, did you notice the pregnant waitresses in this place?
Me: No. (FYI, pregnant waitresses wear t-shirts and non-pregnant waitresses wear the tank tops).

Me: (at the blackjack table talking to the seemingly European dealer) So, Simeon where are you from?
Simeon: Ventnor.
Me: Wow, I haven't lived here in a really long time.
Simeon: Oh, originally. Bulgaria.

As if that wasn't enough, the Polvo show on Saturday was a who's who of 1994 Chapel Hill. Pete claimed to feel old, but I'm pretty sure he was in the middle of the age bell curve for attendees. He told his old age theory to some girl there and she said that babysitters must have been in huge demand in the Chapel Hill area that night. That's probably true. Still, it's a good feeling to know that other people have had widely different (although in many ways very similar) lives than you since 1994, but you can still have a good time talking about the past, present, and future.

Finally, I was cleaning out Izzy's closet and found a storage container w/ wedding gifts. The fancy silverware and wine glasses were still in good shape, so I put them in a more accessible cabinet. I hope I sent thank you notes for all of that stuff.

That's a lot of memories from 3 different decades. W/ all the changes that have taken place in my life (and I'm sure yours too), it's good to have enough distance to forget (or at least put behind me) the bad stuff and remember that I had lots of fun in a lot of different places w/ a lot of different people. And those people and places will always be w/ me even when they aren't there. So cheers, thanks a lot to all of them.

Killing Pablo

2008-04-28T19:32:00.002-04:00

I've read a few books by Mark Bowden, and you can definitely tell he's a reporter writing his take on contemporary history. That's not a bad thing. In fact, I like his direct, blunt style. There's not a whole lot of philosophical reflection on the life and death of Pablo Escobar. He's neither demonized nor glorified in this book. Still, it's an interesting account of the combined Colombian and US forces that worked for years to track him down and kill him (there was no intent to take him alive). I'm into the whole covert government thing, so this was an interesting cross section of technology and old fashioned gumshoe detective work leading to his death. Also, the terrorism employed in Colombia then (and I guess to some extent now) would make Al-Qaida blush. People don't talk about this b/c, uh, I don't know why people don't talk about it. However, you can read more about this aspect at your local library.

Rock On

2008-04-08T20:20:00.002-04:00

Maria brought this book home, so I hope you'll forgive me if my reading list goes history, rock, history, rock, etc. I brought this book up after reading an interview w/ the author on the AV Club and the next day Maria brought it home from the office (don't worry I'm going to print a big stack of the "lead free" labels I've been working on and give them to her in exchange for her thoughtfulness). After reading this I now appreciate my own job more since having Jimmy Page working for our company isn't as cool as I imagine it would be (and I imagine we'd carpool in his Rolls Royce, eat lunch at Subway, and bitch about how hard it is to find a dry cleaner who doesn't fuck up the embroidery on your dragon suit). I think the quote on the back of the book that says it's "The Office meets Spinal Tap" sums it up pretty well. Plus I just used the only good Jimmy Page line I could come up w/, so I'll leave it at that.

Manifest Destiny's Underworld

2008-04-05T17:41:00.002-04:00

It took me a couple of months to get through this book not because it was long or boring, but the font was too small and gave me a headache after reading 10 or so pages. I blame UNC Press for picking Ehrhardt font. This book was only 300 pages, so they could have enlarged the typeset and made it 400 pages. Then I wouldn't have to wear reading glasses on top of my regular glasses to get through this thing.

Anyway, the actual content was really interesting. I remember a movie from the 80's called Walker (just released on DVD this year) about an American who took over Nicaragua in the 1850's thanks to the awesome firepower of a few helicopters. I think the helicopter bit was a commentary on the 1980's US involvement in Nicaragua, but William Walker really did invade Nicaragua in 1855 w/ a private army and become the country's president. I've always been fascinated about how this could have happened just from a tactical standpoint. I mean how can a few hundred guys can take over an entire nation w/o some kind of huge technological advantage (like, say, helicopters in 1855)? It turns out they had plenty of local supporters, and they had to slowly accumulate territory and would never control the entire country. It also turns out there were other people putting together private armies to take control of Canada, Cuba, Mexico, and some other Latin American countries. Part of this was with an eye to expand US territory (more specifically territories that allowed slavery). Mostly these guys like Narciso Lopez and John Quitman wanted power and thought these Latin American nations were too weak to stop their private armies. They were wrong. Not only did locals fight them off, but Britain, France, and Spain helped defend these countries against what they considered a bunch of pirates. Still there was an ever willing group of volunteers and financiers in the US who provided the backbone of these schemes. Essentially, the Civil War ended these kinds of expeditions, and people in the US forgot about it. However, people in Latin America did not. I guess if a bunch of American "soldiers" tried to invade your country, you might pass on your resentment to the next generation. So if you are travelling to any of these places, remember to leave your firearms at home lest you are mistaken for an invading army (I'm assuming your kids would also be armed).

NFL Dream

2008-04-04T20:01:00.003-04:00

What do kids (and adults) dream about when it comes to being in the NFL? If you said announcing a late round draft pick then the NFL has a contest for you. If you are like me and would rather get the high/low treatment from Rodney Harrison and Teddy Bruschi as a prize (I'd totally hang on to the ball. Not from the catch, but as a memento of what put me in a wheelchair. Some ballboy would have to actually retrieve the ball), then maybe the National Football League can work out a contest for us too.

Energy Efficiency

2008-03-29T15:19:00.002-04:00

We replaced all the windows in our house w/ new double pane vinyl windows last summer. I envisioned the gas bill getting cut in half. That hasn't happened. The bill shows your usage and the average daily temperature for the current month and that month in the previous year. I've saved absolutely nothing. My electric bill, however, has been about a third of what it was last year. I hoped that my windows were just confused and cut into the wrong bill, but the reality is that almost all of the light bulbs in our house are now CFL bulbs. So in review, thousands of dollars in new windows saved me no money, but $4 light bulbs have already saved me $100. I heartily recommend the light bulbs.

Legacy Of Ashes

2008-03-29T14:38:00.003-04:00

I don't know how much you've heard about this book, but it's a history of the CIA through about 2006. It covers 60 years pretty briskly. There were a few events that I was interested in that this book covered in a page or two (Iranian hostage crisis, Watergate), but there are more in depth books out there if I get curious. Overall, according to Legacy of Ashes the CIA has never had a lot of success in any of its missions. Even when an apparent success happens (installing the shah in Iran in the 50's) it turns out to be a failure (Iranian-American relations for the last 30 years). The author splits the blame b/w the agency and the president. If you remember after 9/11, the intelligence community took a lot of grief for depending on technology to gather information instead of using good old fashioned spies. It turns out technology is the CIA's most successful endeavor, and spies on the ground have always been a weak point. The presidents have also consistently misused the agency for covert missions that suit their political needs. Since those needs change every few years, the agency has to reprioritize its talent to areas that they may not have any expertise in. That might explain the legacy of failure, but the CIA should depoliticize itself (hard to do b/c of nebulous funding) and work on impartially interpreting the evidence it gathers. That would be a good legacy.

Tourney Picks

2008-03-19T18:10:00.002-04:00

I'll just give you the highlights. Kansas over UCLA in the final w/ Texas and UNC rounding out the final four. A few notable sweet 16 upsets are Davidson beating Georgetown and Butler taking out Tennessee. In the elite 8 I'm taking Xavier over Duke and Pittsburgh over Memphis. I had a strong run of picking 3 champions in a row a few years ago, but each year I finished in last for the people who picked the eventual champion so follow these predictions at your own risk.

Attention Basketball Fans

2008-03-10T20:25:00.002-04:00

Dude, I was totally going to call you when Danny Green threw down that wicked jam on Saturday night except I didn't want to jinx it and I couldn't stop pumping my fists long enough to dial your number. But it's the thought that counts and I was thinking of you, unnamed blog reader.

I was listening to the Winthrop/UNCA game on Sirius radio and usually they broadcast the home or visitor's radio team (or sometimes both) but they had a guy there specifically for Sirius on Saturday. It was only one guy handling the action and man he did a good job. I started wondering why other schools don't do this, but I listened to Florida's broadcast of the Kentucky game on Sunday and they just had one guy doing the play by play (it was the Gator radio network and inexplicably you can still buy season tickets to Florida football b/c they heavily advertised those). Does anyone know if a one man booth is unusual for sports on the radio? I've listened to UNC, Duke, NC State, Wake, and UNCG this season and they all have 2 man booths. I don't know how popular sports on the radio are, but I like to listen to it if I'm in the car or it's not on tv (except hockey that's impossible to follow on the radio). The only one man booth I can remember prior to this weekend was the Greensboro Grasshoppers and I'm pretty sure that's a cost savings move.

Nothing Venture, Nothing Win

2008-03-03T19:14:00.002-05:00

Sir Edmund Hilary has done a lot more in his life than you and I will ever do. First of all he climbed Mt Fucking Everest. Then they started calling him Sir (w/o adding you're making a scene). In his autobiography he comes across as a guy who is humbled by the accolades and opportunities that arose from being the first white guy to reach the top of a mountain. He seems a lot less interested in reliving that trip than talking about some of his other less famous adventures. I won't rehash the guy's life here, but this book inspired me to walk outside and find a path through the woods to Desmond's school. It didn't matter that I got mud all over my fancy walking boots. I felt the sense of accomplishment that I could shepherd my kids through a pathway to education. I don't feel that way after reading indie rock biographies, but Sir Edmund Hillary tells his story in a truly awe inspiring fashion. This is worth reading.

Some Stuff

2008-02-22T21:11:00.002-05:00

I saw my daughter holding her Cat in the Hat stuffed animal close to her Cinderella or Barbie or Barbie Cinderella doll and thought it was cute that she wanted inanimate objects to love each other. Then I walked by and she was making smooching sounds while her dolls pressed together. I'm screwed.

Former Bicycle Face bass player and singer Brian Huskey is somehow involved w/ the VH1 show Free Radio. His name makes the opening credits. Otherwise I would have never known that he plays the uptight station manager. I would hope his next step is to be the Maytag repairman, but that might be a stretch.

There is a doubleheader rock show I'm going to follow if you are interested. Radiohead plays in Charlotte on Friday May 9th. Then Polvo reunites on Saturday May 10th in Carrboro. Let me know if you want to go to either or. I promise not to bring any earplugs.

The Replacements - All Over But The Shouting

2008-02-21T16:56:00.002-05:00

I wasn't going to read any rock books for a while, but a book on the Replacements was too much for me to stay away. It was just a bunch of quotes by the band from old interviews, people telling stories about what the band meant to them, and a few stories of hanging out w/ them. Kind of lame except the guy who ran Twin/Tone is featured heavily and the band's lawyer (believe it or not) provides a lot of interesting insight about what they were getting into signing w/ Sire. There were a couple of important things I learned. First, Sleeping Nights of Jesus from one of the greatest live albums ever released is a Robyn Hitchcock song (I previously found out that the Vertebrats sing Left In The Dark). Also, the recording for that show was done w/ 2 boom mikes from a balcony that someone in the band's entourage set up. Most importantly, the tapes the band stole from Twin/Tone and threw in the Mississippi River only contained a few outtakes and weren't the master tapes of all their early recordings. Somewhere there is an interesting book that Paul, Chris and/or Tommy will write but this isn't it.

Random Stuff

2008-02-16T09:03:00.003-05:00

There was an excellent article in National Geographic about the Mexican border. Except this was about the southern Mexican border. If the media makes you think Mexicans are desperate to get to the United States, you should read about Guatemalans.

Around the Horn may not be a great show, but Desmond loves it. I don't think he cares about the sports topics they discuss. He just wants to see who wins. I can walk in the room when he's watching it and ask who's winning and he'll give me a scoring update. I guess since it's on ESPN he just assumes it really is the show of competitive banter.

I finally bought one of those reusable shopping bags at Harris Teeter. It's from their "My Earth" collection yet it's made of polypropylene. I guess for 99 cents I shouldn't expect it to be made from fair trade organic cotton.

Carolina Football

2008-01-30T18:14:00.000-05:00

This is the best time of year to be a Carolina football fan. I looked at the schedule yesterday and thought "they can go 12-0." I realized winning at Miami would be tough, but Butch Davis should have their number and the Canes aren't the team they were a few years ago. Then I started wondering if I had seen Virginia Tech on the schedule. I double checked and the Hokies are coming to Chapel Hill in the fall, so now I think 11-1 looks more realistic.

Create a Word

2008-01-26T09:21:00.000-05:00

I was listening to this story on the radio about a father who decides that he wants to be a woman and slowly starts making this transformation. It featured the father and one of his daughters who brought up an interesting point. There isn't a gender neutral name you can call your transgendered parent (well, other than Parent which doesn't seem particularly affectionate). I'm going to throw out my nominee, Teri. Feel free to start using it when describing all of the transgendered parents you encounter throughout your day.

Dress Your Family In Corduroy And Denim

2008-01-20T15:19:00.000-05:00

Now this is a book I can actually recommend. If you haven't read David Sedaris, you are missing out on some funny family (and personal) dysfunction. And not the kind of dysfunction that lands you in jail, this is the kind where you hold unspoken grudges for years until a well received memoir exposes them to the whole world. Now that's funny. As far as this book goes, in addition to the requisite childhood family trauma there were some funny significant other relationship stories and the excellent advice that a new car might revitalize a romance for a few weeks but new real estate can improve the romance for up to 9 months. And off course there are more stories about Raleigh's favorite floor refinisher, the Rooster. I'm not sure but he might be the only author that I would want to listen to read his books on tape. That lisp of his somehow makes his stories even funnier and I have a hard time consistently reproducing it when I'm reading in my head.

Now I Can Die In Peace

2008-01-19T17:45:00.000-05:00

Let me start by saying I like the Sports Guy. I had kind of the opposite reaction a lot of people have b/c I didn't like him the first few times I read him. His complaints about not being able to get a sports column in the newspaper b/c of the entrenched old guys seemed disingenuous b/c I knew a guy who had done just that, but after a few reads I got over it. While I'm not a fan of the Boston sports teams (and the fans of those teams are even worse) and some of his jokes are worn out at this point, I still enjoy most of his columns. I even knew that his book was just a bunch of his old columns. What I did not know was that the whole book revolved around the Red Sox. No NBA, one column on the Patriots first Super Bowl win (ugh), and the rest of it was all Red Sox all the time. Let's just say I'm looking forward to his next book. I think.

UNCG Basketball

2008-01-19T09:33:00.000-05:00

I was excited when I saw this article on UNCG's Kyle Hines yesterday on SI.com. Hines has some incredible career statistics and plays well against everybody, so it's not too surprising that he would get some national publicity (in an unrelated note I was watching the G play recently while the NFL playoffs were getting ready to start and started wondering if Hines could make the Antonio Gates leap from college hoops to NFL tight end. Probably not but I'd like to see an NFL player from a college that doesn't have a football team). Then, incredibly, ESPN.com had an article posted on UNCG head coach Mike Dement on the very same day. It was one of those personal interest stories that I never read in the local paper, but I read it online b/c it was a 2nd UNCG story in the national media. I would have only believed this was possible if something really bad happened at the program, but I'm glad to be wrong in this case.

Slash

2008-01-16T19:39:00.000-05:00

I figured I would start commenting on the books I read on here, so next Christmas someone will actually buy me a book (although the Steely Dan box set was very nice so I'm not complaining about Pete). Anyway, the Slash book was one of Maria's Christmas presents but I started reading it to complete the recent rock and roll trilogy I started (Nikki Sixx's book and Eric Clapton's book were the previous two). It didn't trash Axl Rose as bad as I thought it might, but that's probably b/c it devoted more space to the Slash's pre-Guns and Roses days. And unlike the other rock confessionals I previously read this didn't put much faith in rehab for getting off of heroin. I don't know if that's refreshing or if Slash is in for another ride on the dragon. I'll save you the time and money by quoting the funniest part of the book. "It was now 2002 and Aerosmith was playing the L.A. Forum with Cheap Trick opening up.... I got high as a kite that night, so deliberately and obviously that the Aerosmith guys, the Cheap Trick guys, and everyone I ran into were aware of it. Under the circumstances, I did the only thing that made sense: I hung out with David Lee Roth all night." I'd try to devise some kind of rating system except I've noticed my Netflix reviews give every single movie I see 4 out of 5 stars. I cancelled my Netflix subscription shortly after I noticed that. I will say it's as good as any of the other rock and roll books I've read recently.

Excuse me, sir

2008-01-15T18:59:00.000-05:00

I've been mistaken for a lot of things in my life, but I think I reached a new low this past weekend. The kids went to a birthday party at Pump It Up that started at 1 o'clock. I had other obligations and couldn't make it until closer to 2 o'clock. They do 2 parties at a time and at 2 o'clock they were bringing in 2 more parties. I just wandered through the waiting area and saw Desmond coming out of one of the party rooms so I went in and sat down for the adult supervision portion of the party. About 10 minutes later this young lady who works there walks up to me and asks "Excuse me, what is your connection to this party?" Luckily, Izzy and Maria were sitting next to me at that point so it wasn't too hard to explain that I was w/ them. I was kind of ok w/ it b/c they were being vigilant about keeping their parties safe. Still, Maria made sure to let the other parents know exactly what happened (and then laughed hysterically). And while I've been cultivating the undesirable look for about 25 years, that's not exactly the type I was going for. Hopefully this gives me an excuse to avoid all future birthday parties that fall during the NFL playoffs.

Petsmart

2007-12-15T14:44:00.000-05:00

I went into Petsmart today to buy cat food. We were waiting in line and Desmond was asking about the dog grooming that they were doing there. I was pretty impressed that a dog would stand there while this lady used electric clippers on him. Then I saw how she was holding him. Her arm was over his hind legs with her hand coming back under him between his legs firmly holding his junk. While I was contemplating this, a lady walks in w/ her dog and excitedly asks if Santa will be there in 15 minutes. The cashier tells her yes and she asks where exactly he'll be. The cashier points out the area and I realize there were already a bunch of people w/ their dogs waiting for Santa over there. I'm kicking myself for not sticking around to watch this, but these people looked like they would be pissed if I wasted Santa's time by letting my kids sit with him.

Parental Dilemma

2007-12-07T20:06:00.000-05:00

I've tried to be a good parent this year. I started buying Christmas candy at the grocery store well before Thanksgiving. But I feel like I'm mistreating my kids b/c I'm nibbling away at their Halloween candy. I figured if it was more than a month old then it was fair game. Still I feel like I should be eating red and green gumdrops instead of sweetart skeleton bones. I hope you the spirit of the season moves you to forgive me.

89 Cavalier & 74 Jailbreak - Indestructible

2007-12-04T18:44:00.000-05:00

I was driving to work the other day and I was stopped behind a tractor trailer at a stoplight except there were cars going through the light in the other lane. The truck started backing up and I honked my horn until he stopped. We went through the same ritual a second time, but the third time I figured I should back up. Only he was going faster this time and hit my car. I got out to check the damage and there wasn't any. I was pretty impressed that my car could withstand a ramming from a tractor trailer (presumably hauling a load of lead). Then when I got home I was cleaning up and noticed 74 Jailbreak was making a rattling noise. When I opened the case the disc had a piece missing from the edge. I put it in the cd player and it still worked fine (I ended up listening to the whole thing to make sure. From now on I'd like to be referred to as 72 Dan.

Pitching In

2007-11-21T19:26:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving is numero uno on my list of holidays as you may have read before. I figured I should add to the pile of food this year and I bought some pecans from a lady at work, so I'm making a cheesecake pecan pie. I made one last week and it is the greatest thing since chocolate and peanut butter started shacking up. I'm currently working on an apple pie that may or may not make it out of the house. I followed the directions to preheat a baking sheet on the bottom rack of the oven, but nowhere in those directions did it say that your oven needed to be clean. While I didn't have to call the fire department this time, I did have a nice flame burning up the bottom of the oven. I think that made it easier to scrape out the stuff that was in there, but I don't recommend as a method of oven cleaning.

In other holiday news, this morning Desmond furrowed his brow and seemed genuinely perplexed to start his first day of vacation. Since we went to the grocery store last night, he wasn't sure if he wanted Coke, Pepsi, or Cheerwine to start his morning off. Eventually he settled on Cheerwine. I'm not sure what he's going to do at the dessert table tomorrow when faced w/ an even bigger decision (the correct answer is "a little piece of all of them" which is really just so you can figure out what to have a big piece of).

And if you see a Thanksgiving card w/ a woman on the front of it, I assure you the inside of the card says something like "Happy day before shopping." Believe me, I looked at all of them. I wasn't sure what to think of that since I was shopping at the time, so I went to the auto supply section and looked at fuel injector cleaner.

American Gangster TV

2007-11-12T19:07:00.000-05:00

There is a show on BET called American Gangster (not to be confused w/ the movie). It would be like a lot of shows on the History Channel if Grandmaster Flash did the music. Also it always features black criminals. I don't want to tell BET how to run their network, but maybe they should feature some white criminals who rip off black people. That shouldn't take very much research.

And don't forget to tip your bartenders

2007-11-07T16:11:00.000-05:00

It's starting to get cold at night and our furnace decided that it wasn't going to work. It would start for a few minutes but would never actually blow warm air through the vents. I know enough about it to take the cover off and read the LED error messages, but I certainly don't know how to fix a furnace. At least I didn't think I did. I changed the air filter and it is now toasty and warm in the house. So change your air filter if you haven't recently and then put your heating repair ad in the yellow pages.

Election Day

2007-11-06T20:40:00.000-05:00

The Greensboro city council elections were today, and my goal was to vote for someone not involved in the real estate business. Of course, this was impossible w/o writing-in a candidate. And while I managed to do that, I immediately started feeling remorseful that I didn't vote for Hugh G Rection or Amanda Hugginkiss. Still, I look forward to next year's elections when NC's next senator is Haywood Jablome.

Jack-O-Lantern

2007-10-20T19:36:00.001-04:00

I made a Scooby Doo jack-o-lantern for the kids today. I screwed it up a little and he's missing the center line in his jaw. However, Gene Simmons turned out pretty good. It doesn't look quite this scary on the porch but this is a photo w/o the flash and that's the only way you can see the illuminated image. You can get a whole lot of patterns at Zombie Pumpkins. If you end up getting one photocopy it before you use it b/c you pretty much destroy it during the process and you can only print it once (on the cheap $2 membership).

Ladies, Make Yourself 100% More Attractive

2007-10-15T19:24:00.000-04:00

I'm surprised this isn't on the cover of Vogue or something like that, but I can make any woman instantly twice as attractive as she was before using my sure fire technique. Get a job as a sideline reporter for a sports telecast. Looking at this ranking of the sideline babes, I can't help but think that while they may be cute you wouldn't look twice if you saw any of them walking down the street. Obviously, that job (like being an air hostess in the 60's) makes you instantly more attractive.

Fundraising

2007-09-25T18:50:00.000-04:00

I'm going to participate in the Crop Walk again this year on October 14th. Maria has to work so I think I'm going to bring (i.e. carry) the kids this year. If you can spare a few nickels to sponsor me the money is split 75% for Church World Service and 25% for Greensboro Urban Ministry and would be greatly appreciated.

Desmond's school is also having a fundraiser. Except they aren't selling anything or doing anything, they are just asking each kid to get $50 (tax deductible). I think they hope they will ask friends and neighbors, but I have a feeling I'll be cutting a $50 check soon.

Good Trivia Question

2007-09-22T19:22:00.000-04:00

I expect Otto to know this, but for the rest of you here is an excellent football/political trivia question. I saw it today and immediately knew one answer and eventually came up w/ another but couldn't complete the trifecta. There are 4 colleges that have graduated both a US president and a Super Bowl winning quarterback. Michigan has Gerald Ford and Tom Brady (side note, only one got multiple terms). Name the other three.

Recap

2007-09-17T18:47:00.000-04:00

Izzy turned 3 a few weeks ago. We celebrated at Chuck E Cheese. Desmond turned 6 last week and we celebrated at home. I know why places charge so much for those parties b/c it is worth it. Desmond also started kindergarten at the public school this year. Last week he brought home an Eagles Earning Excellence award that included a free kids meal at his favorite restaurant, Red Robin. I wish he behaved as well at home as he does at school, but I'm willing to take one for the team.

While all that is going well, I'm only blogging to brag about fixing my car. I went to Winston-Salem on Saturday and of course got lost. As I was making a U-turn I passed a guy riding the loudest lawnmower in the world. I kept driving and realized that it was my car that was making this ungodly noise. I managed to drive it all the way back home, but was convinced I'd be getting a new car soon b/c my 89 Cavalier was shot. Today I checked it one last time before calling the tow truck to take it to the shop. I saw a spark plug still connected to the spark plug wire but hanging down not connected to the engine. When I reconnected the plug, the engine ran like a champ. I wish I could sell it right now, but I have to wait until May to have the other car paid off. I think I can keep that plug in the engine until then.

Football Viewing

2007-09-05T19:32:00.000-04:00

If you're like me you are concerned about what NFL games will be broadcast on your tv this Sunday. Thankfully, this site gives you the lowdown. Now I know that the Panthers game will be up against the Redskins game (and strangely enough the Redskins will also be shown in Dallas, TX instead of the Texans and even stranger the Vince Young led Titans will be shown in Austin, TX instead of the Texans). Also I don't have to worry about missing the Bears/Chargers late game. Now I just have to plan out my snack formations.

Why I Like Fox News

2007-08-22T18:58:00.000-04:00

Last night I was watching Hannity and Colmes and learned some important information. Do you know who these guys are on the ferry in Washington? Like me you probably do but are withholding information in an attempt to pass a constitutional amendment that replaces the Supreme Court w/ the ACLU. However, real reporters are asking important law talking guys about the situation. That's why Hannity and Colmes invited former LAPD detective Mark Fuhrman to discuss the situation. It turns out he's a regular guest. Awesome!

Things I Thought Weren't Only In My Head

2007-08-21T18:20:00.000-04:00

I've had this song stuck in my head. Maybe you've heard it. It's a Flight Of The Conchords song, but in my head Prince is singing it. Needless to say I haven't seen it on any Prince bootlegs. However, on the most recent episode of Flight of the Conchords one of the guys wants to look good for his date by dressing like Prince. Game. Blouses.

Bang Your Head

2007-08-19T15:04:00.000-04:00

We went to the sparsely attended Vince Neil, Quiet Riot, Slaughter triple bill last night at the coliseum. We missed the Slaughter, but I wanted it see Quiet Riot in 1983 so I was glad to finally get the job done. The lead singer looks like Rod Stewart which is a little disconcerting when you are trying to bang your head. They have a new album, but they only played a couple of songs off it. That's not too bad since I only knew 3 of their songs anyway. Despite never owning a Motley Crue record I knew every song Vince Neil played. Maria claims that over the course of her life she's spent so much money on Motley Crue merchandise that she's made a mortgage payment for Vince Neil. That money also helped me learn all of the tunes. There were 2 things that stood out about the show. One, both bands were incredibly enthusiastic. Often times more enthusiastic than the crowd. And the second thing was beer was $8 for 24 ounces. I have to start saving for Van Halen right now.

How Much Is Too Much?

2007-08-13T18:21:00.000-04:00

Finally, Van Halen is playing w/ David Lee Roth and tickets go on sale this Saturday for the September 29th show in Greensboro. There was some rumblings about 10 years ago that this would happen, and people were so excited that I actually heard 1984 at a Pink House party. The real question is how much are tickets going to cost. You could go the presale through livenation, but I always buy my tickets from the coliseum at the box office to save the "convenience" charges. I'm thinking about $75 sounds right. I just don't know if I'll actually pay that much.

Record Breakers

2007-08-08T19:45:00.000-04:00

Of course Barry Bonds broke the MLB home run record yesterday and he was asked if the record was tainted. I'm amazed that the baseball junkies ask things like this. The game has a long history of cheating. From throwing world series games, to stealing signs, to spitballs, to corked bats, to too much pine tar, to sculpting the playing field for the home team's advantage, baseball has a always been known for cheating. Obviously the evidence points to him using steroids beginning in the 1999 season, but I don't care. He hit 421 HRs before 1999. He's drawn more walks than any other player in history. In my opinion, his biggest problem is the media regards him as a first class jerk. I remember an usher at Veteran's Stadium telling me the first English phrase Juan Samuel learned was "No autographs kid". I didn't care about that, I still wanted Sammy to hit a home run to beat the damn Mets. The bigger problem w/ Bonds is MLB did nothing to address the growing steroids problem and now the numbers that always meant something to "history" aren't relevant. Still, even Game of Shadows says Bonds got on the steroid program b/c he was pissed Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa were getting tons of recognition about breaking the HR record and he was jealous. He didn't originate the steroid problem. He just used it to his advantage b/c baseball wasn't doing a damn thing about it.

The record I'm more concerned about is WUAG dj Johnny Walker trying to break the Guinness Book of World Records mark for longest radio show. You can listen to him here, but I'll let you know the rules as I understand them. He can take a 5 minute break every hour. If he doesn't take the break during the hour he can accumulate 5 minute breaks and use them consecutively as he sees fit (so 4 hours of non-stop dj action gives him a 20 minute break). All songs must be less than 6 minutes. This means my strategy of playing John Coltrane doing My Favorite Things for an hour won't fly. I'm not sure how anybody can stay awake for that long (or why they would want to), but good luck to him.

Ethnic Identity

2007-08-04T16:14:00.000-04:00

My wife's mother is from Colombia. That makes her 100% Hispanic for census purposes. Now I've never classified Maria as Hispanic but since she's 50% Colombian and 50% cracker I guess she could claim to be w/o any trouble. I recently had to fill out some papers for Desmond's kindergarten and while it was pretty easy to classify him as "white" I didn't know what to do w/ the separate box that asks if you are also Hispanic. If the cops pulled him over, they wouldn't think that so I figured I wouldn't check the box (Maria wasn't sure what to do either). To even things out maybe I'll classify Izabella as Hispanic but not Desmond. Does that make any sense?

I was listening to an interview w/ a lady who runs an adoption agency in Winston-Salem that helps people adopt kids from the country of Georgia. She explained that part of the popularity of adopting kids from foreign countries was that most adoptions in the US are open adoptions and many people aren't comfortable w/ that. I'm not sure how I feel about immigrant babies taking jobs from American born babies, but I'm really confused about how these foreign born kids will view their ethnic identity when they are adults. In reality they will be 1st generation Americans from Eastern European somewhere, but will they grow up thinking that they are of Irish descent b/c their dad is Tom O'Brien? Will they continue to identify w/ that ancestry in some way? I don't have any answers for my own kids so this situation is even more confusing. Maybe we should all just consider ourselves Americans and get over it.

NASCAR Quiz

2007-08-04T15:41:00.000-04:00

ESPN is broadcasting NASCAR this year, so they have coverage on shows where the hosts don't have a lot of knowledge about the sport (yeah, I said sport). Usually, it's a highlight on sportscenter or a 1 minute segment on PTI, but I listened to a 25 minute podcast by the Sports Guy w/ Tony Stewart that obviously was not his idea. He prepared a lot of questions and some of them were even related to racing, but someone should have asked the Sports Guy a few questions before they let him interview Stewart. I am that someone. Feel free to play along.

1) What company sponsors Tony Stewart's car?

2) Who is the car owner?

Maybe these aren't the most important questions, but Bill Simmons was under the impression that Stewart drove the #33 Old Spice car. While he has driven that car a few times in the Busch series, Home Depot spends something like $15+ million to sponsor him every week. Also, since Stewart is from Indiana, Simmons wanted to know if he likes the Colts. While he said yes, nothing was ever mentioned that the guy who owns the #20 Home Depot car is the Hall of Fame coach of the Washington Redskins.

I think this podcast proved 3 things. First, ESPN is cramming NASCAR down its employees throats even more than Arena Football. Second, Bill Simmons can fit his interview/writing style into any template (which is good if you like him but your interests aren't quite in line w/ his). Third, Tony Stewart can be a heck of a nice guy since he didn't mention the gaping holes in his interviewer's research for the entire 2o minute interview. I was already aware of the first two things, but I had no idea Stewart could be so gracious. I don't know if that makes me like him more or less.

Myrtle Beach Vacation

2007-08-01T19:27:00.000-04:00

The most noteworthy thing that happened on our vacation was we lost Desmond. We were at the pool and were planning to go out on the beach. He had been 10 steps ahead of us all weekend and left the pool area to head to the beach. After we got our beach bag together, we headed out there and didn't see him. Since he had his surfboard we guessed he was in the water. He wasn't. I went back to the pool area (there were 4 pools) and couldn't find him anywhere. I went back to the beach and walked along the surf awhile and still couldn't find him. Maria was pretty upset at this point. I convinced her we should go back to the room and see if he was up there and as we headed back there he was w/ the cleaning lady bringing him out to look for us. Needless to say I tipped this cleaning lady very well even though I told her we didn't need the room cleaned every time she came by. I guess he learned his lesson b/c he was only 5 steps ahead of us for the rest of the vacation. The whole episode lasted maybe 10 minutes, but it was pretty scary.

Other than that it was pretty typical. The hotel was nice enough. We were smart enough to get a suite so the kids could go to sleep and we could shut the door and watch the Discovery Channel. The KISS Coffeehouse is still standing. They seem to be more focused on the actual coffee w/ about 20 flavors instead of the 4 they had last time (Maria bought Let Me Go Rocky Road). The rides were as usual a family favorite.

About the only other interesting thing to happen was we ate at what I think was a segregated restaurant. We went to this pancake house at lunch and this black lady and her teenage son walked in right before us. As I was holding the door for my family a teenage girl who was w/ the mother and son came to the door so I held it open for her too. I noticed a handful of black people eating in this section of the restaurant. The hostess immediately seated my family despite the fact that these people were there first and any table that seats 4 would be the logical place to seat 3. She took us to the other side of the restaurant which was separated by glass windows and we sat in a section full of white people. Maybe it was all innocuous, but I didn't have a real good feeling about this place's intentions. Probably b/c it was staffed by a bunch of thick accented Europeans. You just can't trust their kind.

Captain America

2007-07-23T18:46:00.001-04:00

I promise I'll get back to posts about crazy stuff my kids do, but I'd like to provide the solution to a "crisis" facing the USA. Social Security will not have enough funds to pay its promised benefits in the next 10-50 years depending on your sources. You might remember President Bush made social security reform his top priority after his re-election. You might also know that this president has increased the federal deficit every year he's been in office. Why would he want to shore up a government entitlement program w/o regard to the rest of the government's debt? Compassionate conservatism? Reaganomics? Maybe b/c the easiest way to balance the social security books is to raise the amount of income subject to the tax. In 2007 the first $97,500 of your wages are taxed at 15.3% (your employer pays half of it if you aren't self-employed, so that's "only" 7.65% for a lot of people). The max figure goes up each year for a "cost of living" increase, but there will be a big spike in that number when the projected shortfall is about to hit. Essentially, it will be a tax increase for people making say $120,000 or more in 2020 (just a guess on the $ and date). Ordinarily, I'm not opposed to tax increases (especially if they don't pinch me), but I have one little issue about this one. Social Security tax is only for wages. When your millions are making thousands just by being there, you don't get taxed on that income by FICA (or Medicare). People who actually earn the big bucks (or at least get paid big bucks) will pay more in taxes than those who make the same amount simply by letting their money work for them. Ultimately, that means the super rich won't be hit hard by this increase and the "crisis" will be solved.

Liberal Media Propping Up President Bush

2007-07-14T13:12:00.000-04:00

W/ the President's approval rating at an all time low, the elite liberal media is grasping at straws trying to make the President look better. They contrast his 29% approval rating w/ the 14% approval rating for Congress. That would make him twice as popular as Congress except that's the approval rating of the entire legislative body. In reality individual members are much more popular than the Congress as a whole. Otherwise, how could Adrian Smith expect to hold on to his job? Although you won't hear it on CNN or Democracy Now, the President is less popular than almost all of the 535 individual members of Congress.

Recruiting Blitz

2007-07-11T10:54:00.000-04:00

I've heard there is some pressure on Roy Williams to land some big recruits, but I don't see why he would need a helmet. Oh and as always, Cowboys suck.

Miller Lite - Cae bien

2007-07-08T19:56:00.000-04:00

I've been watching soccer on Univision recently and thing that strikes me the most is that all of the ads are exactly the same as English language ads but they are geared toward people who understand Spanish. Maybe you've seen these Vytorin ads that discuss treating your high cholesterol w/ diet and medicine. Well, evidently Spanish speaking people have the same problems as English speaking people except their food features a lot of flan and their relatives are aunt Flora. I bring this up as an excuse to tell my story of going to Mexico and highlight my total lack of knowledge of the Spanish language. I walked into Neuvo Laredo on a pedestrian bridge over the Rio Grande. Immediately, hucksters were asking me if I needed to see a doctor. I didn't realize it at the time, but it was all a scam for me to get prescription drugs (needless to say I didn't get any). In fact, the only thing we did was go to a bar on some side street. Nobody spoke English, but cervazas were $1. While I knew I was being totally ripped off, I also knew I couldn't get a can of Tecate for less than that in Texas. A guy asked me for a light and I understood when he said "Gracias" but I couldn't remember the Spanish words for "thank you" (it's "de nada"). A few minutes later he was pointing to a Senor and Senorita dancing in the bar and was motioning for me to go up to them while he laughed. I thought he wanted me to dance w/ him, but in retrospect I realize he wanted me to try and dance w/ her (and presumably get my ass kicked). Either way I was smart enough to say no and went back to Texas.

Fantasy Football Advice

2007-07-06T19:20:00.000-04:00

I read fantasy football advice at pretty much any free semi-reputable website. NFL.com is both, but I'm confused by the new picture their expert has posted. Michael Fabiano in this picture looks like an upstanding minority hire, but in his current picture he is clearly a know-it-all Italian cracker. Does tilting your head down ever so slightly make that big a difference? Can you please tell me this is not the same person?

Why kids are better than dogs

2007-07-04T21:16:00.000-04:00

The actual theorem is that dogs are worse than kids, and then you prove it by listing all the things dogs require (it's pretty much limited to bodily functions). However, in support of the hypothesis I present this Independence Day evidence. Bottle Rockets! I have a stash of bottle rockets that I bought in Tennessee a few years ago and July 4th and December 31st are really the only days I fire any off. This year my kids were going crazy for them. I was lighting 3 at a time to keep them screaming for more. But the dogs next door just kept barking. Finally, I had to take my vacuum cleaner over there to scare the damn dogs off.

Things in the news

2007-07-04T19:37:00.000-04:00

The Chris Benoit murder/suicide is absolutely crazy. As I told Maria, I can understand killing yourself or killing your wife but killing a little kid is the sign of batshit insanity. Of course every story on it has to mention roid rage. My personal belief is that prescription pain killers are just as bad for your heart (and in this case your brain), but it's steroids that get all the publicity. Wrestling no doubt has abusers of both, but in reality steroids are only a problem for professional (or aspiring pro) athletes while pain killers are abused by all kinds of people. Still I haven't seen the painkillers mentioned as a possible cause of this awful event.

Hey, guess what? The POTUS has all kinds of executive powers that can shape our present and future. Who knew? Keeping Scooter Libby out of jail was a predictable outcome, but our newest Supreme Court justices have to be admired for their judicial restraint. Instead of overturning previous rulings like some of their colleagues want, they make the interpretations of the cases in front of them so narrow that they are of very, very limited use to the lower courts (I'm practicing my own form of restraint by not saying they are of no use). That isn't really what the term stare decisis is supposed to mean although you can always argue otherwise. But hey, don't blame me I voted for Kodos.

Hobo Hoagie

2007-06-23T21:56:00.001-04:00

I went to what I can only assume was another in a long line of Greensboro's illegal indie rock nightclubs last night, and as I stood there drinking a giant Icehouse with a paper bag around it I made a comment about the bag being my hobo huggie. The person I said this to misunderstood me and thought I said my giant beer was a hobo hoagie. I swore to him that I would try and get that phrase popularized through my media connections (i.e. this blog). So I would suggest that you start your summer off right and drink an over sized beer w/ a paper bag wrapped around it and call it "lunch".

Unsolicited Advice

2007-06-19T20:50:00.001-04:00

Say you're riding along in your minivan w/ your kids listening to the Sirius satellite radio. You're looking at what's on and see Frank Zappa on the Vault. You can't resist a Zappa deep cut so you flip over there to find the timeless classic Titties & Beer. At this point you need to change it to something else no matter what your rock and roll instinct is telling you. Just trust me. Oh and if some teenage girl makes a left turn in front of you and you have to slam on the brakes, let it go unless you want to hear an endless chorus of the word "fuckwad" repeated from the back seat.

Grand Prix Du Canada

2007-06-10T15:00:00.000-04:00

Finally, Formula One racing is in a time zone I can deal w/ (eastern), and this year is the start of a new racing phenom, Lewis Hamilton. He's a rookie and finished in 3rd in his first race, second in the next 4 races, and finally broke through and won today. He's also the first black guy to race full time in F1. This is where NASCAR is screwing up w/ its diversity iniative. Hamilton drives for McLaren Mercedes which also fields the car of the defending series champion Fernando Alonso. In contrast, Bill Lester (the only black guy to drive in NASCAR for a long time) has a part time ride for a 3rd rate team. Maybe there would be more minority interest in NASCAR if the minorities winning races were doing it on national tv instead of at Hickory Motor Speedway. Next week the F1 series is at Indianapolis (on Fox at 1pm), so you can check it out yourself.

Even if racing isn't your thing, check out this crash from today's race. The dude had a broken leg but should be ok otherwise.

Medical Update

2007-06-09T13:43:00.000-04:00

Well, I went back to the dermatologist yesterday b/c I still have this freaking rash. When I was there in March, they said it was Pityriasis Rosea but now they say it is guttate psoriasis. It should still go away permanently once it finally goes away, but I'm now going to spend my lunch hour for 3 days a week standing in a hexagon shaped stall that has prescription strength light bulbs. I'm only in there for a few minutes, but it takes 25 minutes to get there from where I work. At least I won't have to go outside to get a tan this summer.

Science Question

2007-06-07T20:10:00.000-04:00

I was watching Curious George on PBS w/ my kids and like a Stairway to Heaven it made me wonder. In this particular episode George got sick and the doorman's dog ended up taking care of him while the man in the yellow hat went to work. I hope this means that in the evolutionary chain it is perfectly acceptable for a monkey to watch my kids if they are sick. And also that my cats could watch the monkey.

Virginia Beach

2007-06-05T18:02:00.001-04:00

Since school ended on Thursday (and by the way, this was the first time Desmond had that "I'm so excited it's the last day of school" feeling. I'd forgotten how good that felt) we went to the beach on Friday. My brother Kevin moved to Virginia Beach in January, so we decided we would go there. He lives about 20 minutes from the ocean, so we stayed at the Atlantic Sands Oceanfront Hotel. There were only 2 problems w/ the trip, Desmond and Izabella. They screamed and hit for the whole ride. I didn't exactly have directions, so I made a few navigational errors around VA Beach and the Friday traffic was not forgiving. It took us about 6 hours to get to the hotel. We planned to meet Kevin and his roommate Chicken for dinner, but we strolled down to the hotel restaurant for some appetizers and, most importantly, drinks while we waited for them. We sat on the deck looking over the ocean (and watched military helicopters do some kind of training that involved dropping soldiers in the water and then flying them around while they clung to a rope attached to the helicopter) and discovered that there was live music on the deck Friday and Saturday, right below our 3rd story room. Eventually we made it to Mahi Mah's for an excellent seafood dinner (I had the Virginia Cobia b/c I figured it was fresher than the Idaho Rainbow Trout). The kids behaved great at dinner (although the 45 minute wait for the table was a test of patience). Then we went out on the beach to see the free Huey Lewis and the News concert. We didn't stay too long figuring the kids would go to sleep after a big day and it was almost 10 o'clock. However the band was still rocking on the deck, so Maria and I hung out on the balcony while the kids stayed in the room. Desmond stayed in bed and fell asleep. Izabella waited us out and went to bed at 11:30.

The next day started out w/ me getting the kids ready to go to the beach before 8. It wasn't very crowded at that hour so they had their choice of sand plots. Less than an hour later they were heading back to the hotel w/o their dad (who thought we would bring back the stuff we brought to the beach). It was before 9 when we got back. They were interested in playing Power Rangers in the room (which involves punching and kicking each other as far as I can tell). A few hours later the whole family tried the pool and then went to the beach to wait for Uncle Kevin. This was the sum of our beach and pool experience for the weekend. It was about a 1/2 hour of pool time and 2 hours of beach time. Finally, I convinced Desmond that we wouldn't go to the rides that night if he didn't listen to his parents and he shaped up immediately. He had a good time and while Izabella couldn't ride everything she wanted (the European accent of the Himalaya operator "Do you vant to go faster?" was pretty enticing but the ride went too fast for us to allow it) she seemed scared out of her wits on everything except the choo-choo. When we came back to the room Desmond went to bed w/o incident again while Izabella stayed up until 12:30 w/ us.

Sunday it rained so we went to the aquarium. This seemed like a good idea and Desmond was into the sharks while Izabella and I got to touch the stingrays in the pool. There was another building featuring poisonous snakes (another Desmond favorite) and the 1 mile walk there seemed like a good way to wear out the kids. Unfortunately, it started pouring rain about halfway there. We went back to the car and Maria noted that the next time we go to the aquarium we should try not to fall in. We made it to Kevin's house that evening for dinner and on the way home Izabella finally fell asleep at a reasonable hour.

The drive home wasn't as bad b/c there wasn't much traffic and I knew where I was going this time. The Sirius radio even produced some Birds of Avalon. It only took 4 1/2 hours to get home and I'm considering going on vacation w/ the family again at some point in the future.

ESPN NBA trade machine

2007-05-30T19:50:00.000-04:00

I worked out a scenario w/ the Charlotte Bobcats trading for Kobe Bryant. W/ the big disparity in salaries it's possible b/c the Bobcats have like $10 million in cap space. I don't think it's likely, but the Bobcats could keep some good players, give up 3 players w/ potential (and maybe a draft pick?) and still get Kobe. The Lakers aren't really going to trade him b/c their best bet is to get rid of some of those other contracts (Kwame $8 mil? Odom $12 mil? Radmanovic $5 mil for another 5 years?) and build around one of the best players in the league. Still, I think the Bobcats might get a little more love from Charlotte and beyond if they got Kobe.

Naming Rights

2007-05-29T19:38:00.000-04:00

I was encouraging my cousin this weekend to follow his dream and form a Bob Seger cover band called Turn The Page, and I started to wonder what are the ultimate names for cover bands devoted to a single artist? I know Saturday Night Special is synonymous w/ my long standing Skynryd project, but I think my blinders are preventing me from seeing all the possibilities. I was only able to come up w/ HOT STUFF as the Donna Summer entry (oh yeah, all caps). Please feel free to add your own big or small candidates (I'm looking at you Otto).

Great Moments in Recent History

2007-05-26T15:03:00.000-04:00

We took the kids to the GYC carnival. The 60 minutes we spent there cost me $53 even though I didn't have to pay the $10 admission and we didn't buy any food. Everybody had a good time so I guess it was worth it. When I told my brother that spending money like that made me think it was like the strip club for kids he said "Dude, it's been a long time since you've been to the strip club if you think you can get by on $50 bucks an hour."

For the first time ever we managed to stay at a baseball game for all nine innings. I took the day off on Wednesday to go to the Grasshoppers day game. We walked in as they we playing the Star Spangled Banner, and when everyone was ready to go in the 9th inning I told them about the sense of accomplishment we would all feel if we stayed and watch the Grasshoppers officially lose. They didn't buy it, but I refused to leave until the game was over anyway. Still I feel like it was a new era in baseball games. Mainly b/c we didn't spend the whole time on the playground.

Finally, I bought my new lawnmower today. I haven't used it yet or even set it up, but just having it makes me feel important. And frankly, it's too hot to mow. I noticed the grass is starting to turn brown so if I cut it I'll only be hastening its death. Maybe I should go ahead and cut it then so the mower will last forever.

Old Car vs New Car

2007-05-21T19:56:00.000-04:00

My thinking is anybody should be able to change the air filter on their car. It's usually on top of the engine and isn't held in by more than some latches or screws. I bought air filters for my 89 Cavalier and my 02 Windstar today. The Windstar looks easy b/c it has a single latch that you unfasten. Unfortunately you can't move the pieces the latch connects far enough apart to change the filter. I ended up needing to undo some clamps to change the filter. Still it only took about 10 minutes. The Cavalier on the other hand had 3 latches. After I undid those and took of the piece that holds it in place on top, I had to decide which way the filter went. Ultimately, I decided it didn't matter. This whole process took about 2 minutes. The van may be twice as reliable as the Z24 but it is 5 times harder to work on. That seems pretty reasonable.

Amen Break

2007-05-18T18:41:00.000-04:00

Since it has half a million views, you might have seen this. Still I'm always ready to use public domain works to make a profit for myself.

Something gained, something lost

2007-05-02T20:06:00.000-04:00

I recently got Pete's old lawnmower b/c it was the exact same kind I had. I figured I could use it for parts even if the engine was shot. I loaned my lawnmower to my brother-in-law and he told me it broke on him. He thought he broke the engine block b/c it was totally out of oil. I hoped b/w the two lawnmowers I could salvage one working mower, but 2 broken engines are beyond my capacity to fix things. However, after putting more oil in it my mower acted like the spark plug wasn't firing when I tried to start it. I took apart Pete's mower and took out the piece that connects the spark plug wire to the electrical system in the mower (it has a plastic clip to connect the two sets of wires) and put it in my mower. When I started it up, it ran like a champ. The only problem is when I was taking Pete's mower apart I found that my mower has a whole bunch of broken pieces on it. This could be the summer of small engine repair. I'll have to check my astrological calendar.

I was cleaning under the cushions of the couch today and I found the last of my 1984 Glenn Hubbard baseball cards (although this link looks like the 84 Fleer card was the one to have). I discovered 3 of them in the 90's and started using them as bookmarks until they slowly disappeared. I thought I had one back until I picked it up and it was soaking wet. I had to throw it away b/c the comic book guy's mint condition guide graded it "suitable for honeycomb".

You know that saying

2007-05-01T19:22:00.000-04:00

You know, opinions are like assholes. The Virginia Tech tragedy has given me a new phrasing, people expressing their opinions are assholes. There's plenty of room for journalists to rehash the events, profile the victims, analyze the killer, or look at school shootings in general. The thing that irks me is opinion pieces that promote the author's opinion and use the tragedy as justification of that opinion. Ted Nugent blamed it on gun free zones while at the same time on CNN.com Tom Plate blamed it on guns. I think most people in this country would agree w/ either the point or the counterpoint, but other than friends and families of the victims few people formed that opinion b/c of what happened at Virginia Tech. These guys are just pushing their agenda when the opportunity arises, and if that opportunity happens to be 30+ dead people on a college campus so what. What a bunch of assholes.

My weekend or MJW, Bulls, and blisters on my hand

2007-04-24T20:52:00.000-04:00

The long awaited Marijuana Wolf cd came out on Friday and the world celebrated w/ $1 PBR at 2 Art Chicks. As a special one day only offer you could get a cd for only $4.20, and anyone can still get one for only $5. The live show has expanded to feature a pedal steel guitar player, a drummer, and a trumpet player. They don't play on every song, but if you join Marijuana Wolf it seems like you would need to take a few breaks b/w songs. So now you have your choice of the MJW live dvd or the studio cd. It's hard to go wrong w/ either one.

On Saturday we picked up Pete and met the Cooleys and Clawrys at the Durham Bulls game. The actual game was crappy, but we had kids so watching the game was kind of out. The most I saw was when I was waiting in line at the concession stand. Now I know if I want to watch the game I can leave the kids w/ Uncle Pete and wait in the longest line to buy corn dogs. I've put up a picture of Izzy from the game b/c you can actually see her luminescence. Since it makes her that happy to be at the ballpark, I'll make sure I bring her back again soon.

To wrap it up on Sunday I mowed my lawn and finished the first part (it takes 2 tanks of gas) w/o any problems. I tried to start it after a gas and go, but it wouldn't fire. I took a break to drink some water and let the motor cool down. When I came back it still wouldn't start. Maria tried it w/o luck and my arm was too sore to try anymore, so I got some tools to take apart the mower. It turns out I didn't need them b/c the spark plug wasn't connected to the spark plug wire. Seriously, that's how I got that blister on my hand.

Charlotte Bobcats

2007-04-18T18:59:00.000-04:00

I've said some not so nice things about the NBA in the past, but I've been watching the Charlotte Bobcats pretty frequently this year. The thing that really bugs me about the NBA is the guys just don't try on a regular basis. I understand if there's a 20 point lead that you might not give your best effort (regardless of which end of that lead you're on), but it's not a legitimate excuse to not try b/c it's the 3rd quarter. I don't really see that on the Bobcats. They have won some games on effort and had some memorable close losses. W/ all the talk about teams tanking to improve their draft lottery position I think the good karma of the Bobcats will get them someone who will help them in the coming seasons.

My real purpose in bringing up the Bobcats is trying to figure out why the attendance is at the bottom of the league. Bill Simmons suggested in ESPN the magazine that the NBA eliminate them b/c they "can't support NBA basketball and never could." The next day he had to explain himself further b/c the old Charlotte Hornets led the league in attendance 8 times in 12 years and said "I'm not arguing that you DID support the team once upon a time" (well, actually that's exactly what you said), but he does bring up a good point that this team is at the bottom of the attendance charts. I think there are a few reasons why. One, they are a crappy expansion team. They have good young players, but people who pay hundreds of dollars to go to a game want to see a team w/ a chance to at least make the playoffs. Two, George Shinn poisoned the NBA environment in Charlotte. It wasn't just his demands for the city to build a new arena at no expense to him or the sexual assault trial, but the mismanagement of the team (trading Alonzo Mourning specifically) that made people wonder why they put their hard earned money into a team when the owner wasn't willing to do the same. Three, the Panthers have captured the heart of the community. They've been to the Super Bowl while the NBA franchise never went to the finals. Their proven success has taken some of the shine off the Bobcats. When the Hornets came into the league, they were the only game in town. Now, the Panthers keep people talking all year about their chances to go back to the Super Bowl. Finally, the NBA isn't as good as it used to be. When the Hornets debuted Magic, Bird, and Jordan were all playing. Now Lebron is about the only huge star that almost everybody wants to see. Kobe is a huge star but extremely divisive. Dwayne Wade (despite the championship), Steve Nash, and Dirk Nowitski only inspire NBA fans to go to the arena, not the casual fan you need to get big attendance numbers every night.

So how do you fix this? I only see one solution. Build a winning team. That starts w/ using the copious amounts of salary cap space they will have this summer and signing 2 players. Not some big name free agents, but Gerald Wallace and Matt Carroll who are already on the roster. They will have a high draft pick even if they don't win the lottery (can I hope for Greg Oden, no, how about Corey Brewer). The young players are there and if injuries don't keep Emeka Okafor and Sean May off the court they should be in the playoffs next year.

Now I have to go watch their last game of the season.

Earth Day Plans

2007-04-15T14:36:00.000-04:00

I thought it would be nice if I sent the Earth a card for Earth Day. I know how homemade things are better, so I'm going to chop down a tree, grind it into a papery pulp, dye it w/ some green chemicals, sign my name, then throw it on the ground somewhere for the Earth to find. Don't be surprised when the Earth tells you I'm its favorite on April 23rd.

Free Arby's

2007-04-15T14:32:00.000-04:00

Arby's is sponsoring a NASCAR car this year. As part of that sponsorship they will offer free fries on Monday after a win. You can get your free fries this Monday. If you don't want them, you can mail them to me.

How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Let My Kids Parent Themselves

2007-04-09T20:56:00.000-04:00

I'm not saying kids don't need supervision, however I was cleaning up and found a magazine on the ground w/ the back cover visible and the front cover obscured by a door. I was going to pick it up (the supervision) and Izabella said "That's mine." When I handed it to her I didn't see whose name was on the address label, but if she wants to read Parenting magazine who am I to stand in her way. I asked if she had any tips and she said "I watch cartoons" and closed my bedroom door in my face. I'll probably slip a $20 under her pillow tonight just so she knows I still love her.

Good News

2007-04-04T19:04:00.000-04:00

I don't have syphilis. Two different doctors told me that I was exhibiting the signs of secondary syphilis. I had to get a blood test to convince one of them. It turns out I actually have Pityriasis Rosea, and there's not really anything they can do to treat it (it took 4 trips to 3 doctors to figure this out). The main concern about the syphilis was that I have a rash on the palm and the back of my hands. Someone asked if you could get syphilis from yourself and maybe that would explain why my hands were breaking out.

More good news, I'm no longer sleeping on the couch.

Advice Columnists

2007-04-04T18:44:00.000-04:00

There are 3 advice columnists that I read regularly. Of course Dan Savage at Savage Love is the go to man for anything you need to know about relationships. Dear Prudence on Slate isn't as good as the Beatles song of the same name, but she's not afraid to give regular people (as opposed to Savage Love readers) a dose of reality. The one that I learn the least from but laugh the most at is Ask A Mexican in the OC Weekly. I thought the most recent column was particularly insightful "The fact that many Mexicans look like they’re fresh off the camel is due to the Moorish-Iberian mutts who colonized the Americas. Swarthy foreigners have always inspired fear amongst gabachos." I mean I already knew that but it still makes me laugh. So if you want to ask me anything just send it to the 3 of them and you'll be better off.

Pet names available

2007-04-03T20:52:00.000-04:00

I call my wife "baby", my daughter "honey", and my son "buddy". That leaves a lot of pet names for other people. I think I can remember to use the following names when speaking to you (available on a first come first serve basis): Ace, Champ, Sugar Tits (my wife says this can only be used for guys), Pork Chop, Spider, Doctor (unless you are a doctor), Tito, and Puddinghead. Please let me know if you are interested in one of these and I'll start using it on a regular basis.

Reasons to watch NCAA basketball

2007-04-02T17:57:00.000-04:00

With the Lady Tar Heels elimination last night, I don't have much rooting interest in the games tonight or tomorrow. I am planning on watching in hopes of seeing the Pontiac commercial w/ the lady who says "N O Stan. We are not getting a convertible. What's next? An amp?" Then she gives the rock sign and a rock sound. I'm looking forward to seeing it again and again.

Recent Things

2007-03-26T14:47:00.000-04:00

Ugh! I had finally convinced myself on Saturday that the Tar Heels plan was to wear down their opponent and win the game in the last 10 minutes. Then the exact opposite happens yesterday. That is one of those games that I will think about every so often and go "what the hell happened?"

I was reading GE's annual report and it was talking about how they were working to deliver their entertainment product (NBC) through all sorts of new platforms. I saw Heroes, Deal or No Deal, and 30 Rock each on a different mobile device. Of those shows I only watch 30 Rock and they skewer GE pretty good on that show (3 kinds of heat w/ your trivection oven) so maybe GE has a sense of humor (or a focus group told them they need to look like they have a sense of humor). Most importantly, that means there is no way 30 Rock gets cancelled next season.

I have sampled 2 recent additions to the fast food world's $3.99 chicken sandwiches. Wendy's 4 Alarm Spicy Chicken Sandwich really only provides heat from the jalapenos. The spicy chicken breast and pepper jack cheese are something my kids could eat. The bread it's on is really good though. Hardee's Buffalo Chicken Sandwich wasn't super hot, but the sauce gave it a persistent burn. It was a little messy w/ all that sauce, but what do you expect. I think the bread makes the Wendy's sandwich a little better, but I wouldn't turn down either one.

Bracket Busted

2007-03-23T17:55:00.000-04:00

I kept telling myself that my bracket would be alright. I had all my sweet 16 teams in after the 1st round and all my final 8 in after the 2nd round. Last night broke me. I had Texas A&M beating Tennessee for a spot in the final 4. If either of those teams had won, I could talk myself into another day of optimism but it's not happening now.

Know your audience

2007-03-16T17:29:00.000-04:00

I just gave Izabella her 3rd fruit rollup of the day. I told her she was going to turn into a fruit rollup and she laughed. Then I realized oh yeah that is supposed to be funny.

Classic Smith Story

2007-03-14T20:41:00.000-04:00

I have nothing to talk about, so I'll dig into my archives of printable stories for you. At one point the bottom heating element in our oven didn't work. The broiler part still worked, but you couldn't put the oven on bake and do anything. Unfortunately, you could still put me on bake and I tried to use the kitchen. Maria and I were making tacos one night and I told her to heat up the shells just set the oven on broil and pop them in there for a few minutes. I neglected to tell her that you can set the cooking method on broil and still leave the temperature at 300. Needless to say she called me over to the oven and I looked inside to see a green flame bouncing b/w the shells and the top heating element. We were both a little freaked out when the green flame was still there after we turned the oven off. Then I did something I hope I never have to do again. I called 911. A few minutes later 2 fire trucks pulled up to our house w/ their sirens blaring. Fully equipped firefighters came into the house and went directly to the oven. One of them squirted a fire extinguisher around the edges of the oven. He proceeded to open the oven, take the tray of taco shells out, and put it in the sink where he sprayed water on it from the faucet. I had to fill out some paperwork for them, and they were nice enough to not laugh in my face. They even brought this fan thing that sucked the smoky air out of the house. I think my dad fixed the oven about 2 days later w/ a $30 part. It's b/c of people like me that mortgage lenders make you get homeowners insurance. Your welcome.

Tourney predictions

2007-03-14T20:10:00.000-04:00

Well, I picked the Tar Heels to win it all and Duke to lose in the first round. What can I say, it was only $5 to get in the pool and those predictions bring me great joy. I have the final 4 w/ Carolina, Florida, UCLA, and Texas A&M. I have the Heels going over UCLA in the final. My biggest gripe is the last 2 times I've bought tickets for the games in the area (last year and 2001 in Greensboro) they've put Duke as the "marquee" team. I'll grudgingly admit that Duke is an excellent basketball team, but they do not bring 23,000 fans to games in Greensboro. I decided to not get tickets to the games in Winston-Salem this year, and look who's playing there. Next year, I'm going to try to get tickets for the regional final in Charlotte, so Duke can go ahead and make their reservation for the 2008 final 4.

New ways to watch basketball

2007-03-10T09:40:00.000-05:00

I was at work yesterday watching the ACC tournament thanks to ESPN360. I remember laughing a few years ago that you would spend $1000 on a computer to watch tv on a 4 inch viewer, but I'm not laughing anymore. Next week CBS has March Madness on demand. This means I no longer have to take time off from work to keep up w/ the games. For all the claims that worker productivity drops during events like this, I can say that my productivity will definitely increase. It has to increase if it's moving from zero and can't go into negative numbers.